Dovid to Cheskel to Moishe...

Scrambled words - Cool

I have received this email:

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law).

Hannity interview a muslim guy who is on the Terror watch list

Gotta' Love Rosh Hashanah

"Jewish Girl Blues" by Bradley Fish - loving the girls...

The secret life of the Rabbi's daughter

West London: a 16-year-old girl in pastel-blue cowboy boots dissolves a tab of acid under her tongue and heads across to the squat where her dealer lives. He hands her a stash of drugs, and she reaches into her bra for the money to pay him. Then the atmosphere changes.

“I sense sex in the air. The acid is kicking in and I lie back on a tattered beanbag and Tim and the other squatters stand around me in a half moon. I see them swaying in psychedelic colour. I know what they want. I want it too. I tease my tits out of my bra. I feel powerful, in control…”

Thirty years on, the wayward girl is a nervous first-time author whose explicit reminiscences are about to create a stir in polite Jewish society in Britain and beyond. It isn’t just what she describes (“a true story of sex, drugs and orthodoxy”), it’s who she is – the granddaughter of a chief rabbi of Israel, daughter of a renowned London rabbi. Streets in Jewish communities around the world are named after her family.

She has shaved five letters off her surname to become Reva Mann, but she is instantly recognisable in the small, gossipy world of Anglo-Jewry. For a non-Jewish analogy, imagine the frisson if a graphic autobiography were published by a daughter of the Archbishop of Canterbury. Religious leaders’ offspring are supposed to behave themselves or at least keep quiet – not to reveal all like this.

The book is a publisher’s dream, a gripping tale of a woman searching in all the wrong places and ultimately finding herself, which begs the questions: why did she get lost? And how lost did she get? The answers to both are riveting.

She misspent her teenage years in a chemical haze, shaming her family, frequenting drug dens and seedy clubs, sleeping with strangers. Finally she was hospitalised with hepatitis B, which she had picked up from a heroin addict. It woke her up to the fact that she was putting herself in real danger. “I wasn’t addicted to a particular drug. I was addicted to the false sense of intimacy that I reached when I was stoned out of my mind.”

She was a middle-class girl from a dysfunctional family. One publisher has called the book “a beacon of light to women”. If this makes it sound alarmingly like a cross between a self-help book and a misery memoir, let me assure you that it’s much more fun than either of those. Not least because, thank God, Reva has a sense of humour. What’s slightly surprising, given the voracious sensuality so lovingly detailed in the book, is that, in person, she is so shy.

Physically, Reva Mann is tiny. Her voice is so low that even in a quiet room I have to strain to hear her. She is a quiet 50-year-old – a nonsmoker, virtually teetotal. Abstemious, controlled. She doesn’t even touch coffee (“no stimulants”), drinks hot water and lemon instead.

Looking back, she says: “I wasn’t in control at all. I was lost, I was miserable, I was frightened. I didn’t feel safe.” It’s a word she keeps returning to. “Drugs and losing myself gave me a very temporary illusion of safety.” Her huge, dark eyes look out from another world; her short, mussed-up hair adds to the impression of a kitten rescued from drowning. This is misleading, however, because in fact Reva rescued herself. And how desperately she was in need of salvation. Not just once, from her promiscuous, drug-abused youth, but a second time too, from the religious sanctuary she fled to in Jerusalem.

The book is hard to put down – it’s so personal and raw. It’s not always pretty, but there’s no self-pity. “It’s brutally honest,” she says. “I’m not the subtle-hint type. I’m telling it as it is. I’m passionate, and you can only be who you are.” She decided to write it while she had breast cancer. Having read the book, I know when and where she first felt the lump. I also know, or feel I know, Reva’s mother and lover intimately. Along with her emotionally inarticulate father, her mentally handicapped sister, her ex-boyfriends and her kind but sexually repressed ex-husband. I know how Reva lost her virginity, why she had an abortion, how exactly she gave birth to her three children, and all the ins and outs of her lesbian fling. In short, I know the sorts of things about her that you might tell your closest friends. And many more that most people would want to keep to themselves.

Once upon a time, she was the life and soul of the party – free and easy, up for anything. Some of her friends miss this old Reva, she says. Then she swung to the other extreme, the equivalent perhaps of running off to a convent, immersing herself in the highly regulated life of an ultra-orthodox Jewish wife. She lived in a religious enclave in Jerusalem, where married women wear wigs so nobody but their husbands can see their hair, and dress in long sleeves, high necklines and black tights, even in the heat of an Israeli summer. Where couples have sex at prescribed times of the month, and sleep in separate beds the rest of the time.

Then, feeling stifled, she threw off her sheitel and fled the house in tight jeans in search of hot, adulterous sex. Not long ago she might have been stoned for this. Finally, she says, she has found a better way, somewhere in between her two, radically different, former selves – “the sinful and the sacred, the religious and the profane”.

As she describes her zigzagging path between rampant drug-fuelled sex and intense religious devotion, she gives a fascinating insight into the usually cloistered world of ultra-orthodox Judaism. Some of the rules, taken to the nth degree, seem pedantic: the debate over whether or not you should tear toilet paper off the roll on the Sabbath, for example (you’re creating two halves on what’s supposed to be a day of rest). Or having to let a rabbi inspect her underwear to decide whether or not her discharge was clear enough that she could be pronounced “clean”.

But it would be wrong to imagine Reva has turned her back on her religion. “I’m passionately Jewish. I love Torah [the code of Jewish law].” She adores her faith, talks about it movingly as if it too were a lover. Some of the rituals she describes, such as taking a mikveh, or purifying bath, to be ready for sex with her husband after menstruating, are strangely beautiful. “When you’ve got your period, your body is in a state of not being able to create,” she explains. “That makes you impure, although it’s a terrible translation – the Hebrew word doesn’t have a negative connotation. So we separate. Then we purify ourselves in the mikveh, which is like a rebirth. You come out in a state where you can conceive, in your ultimate feminine state.” In “impurity” they don’t touch at all. It sounds drastic, but it works for hundreds of thousands of couples, she says. When they come together again it’s a real event.

These glimpses of an exotic world add a Memoirs-of-a-Geisha edge to her own emotional journey. The book started off as a fictional account, but an editor told Reva the plot wasn’t realistic: all these things could not have happened to one person. But they had – to Reva. I suspect there is more she’s not telling us. More sexual shenanigans, more bizarre religious practices that she left out lest she be accused of embellishing. She didn’t need to make anything up. But she did want people to understand she was telling the truth. “That was when I realised I was going to have to ‘come out’,” she recalls. “I also understood there was something here that was going to reach out to people. So I went for it.”

“Mann” in Yiddish has connotations of being “a somebody”. Growing up, she felt like a nobody. She had wealthy, respected parents, a liberal education at a private London college. But the polished veneer hid secrets and lies. Her mother suffered from manic depression, and was addicted to prescription drugs. “She relied on uppers to get her through the day and downers to help her sleep at night.” She would perch on window ledges and threaten suicide. One minute she would be exuberant, warm, glamorous; the next, shabby and hysterical. “I never knew what it was going to be – this mum or the other mum – and I didn’t feel safe.” That word again. Her mother told Reva: “You’ll be the death of me.”

Her mother had breast cancer and had a mastectomy when Reva was 12, but nobody talked about what was going on, which Reva found terrifying. Her parents were both hypochondriacs, overwhelmed by anxiety. Her father was a hero to his congregation but couldn’t talk openly to his daughter. There was never any question of trying to get professional help for her mother’s psychological problems: what if people found out? Difficult feelings were kept in, hidden. “I wasn’t allowed an opinion, a voice, an emotion. My dad kept everything on an even keel for my mother. My parents were so far off in their own world that they never seemed to have time for me.” Yet she idolised her father, still does. “He was an incredible leader of the Jewish people. An original thinker, a huge personality. Being his daughter wasn’t easy, but he was my dad, he made me who I am today. And my mum: she was nuts, but she was great. She was so funny.

”Her mother had once been a modern-languages teacher, “a strong, innovative person”. The woman Reva grew up with was “a shaking jelly”. Part of what had gone so very wrong was that their first child, Michelle, five years older than Reva, had severe learning difficulties, having been deprived of oxygen at birth. As a little girl, Reva was devastated when Michelle, her playmate and best friend, was sent away to live in a residential home. From then on, Reva was terrified of being abandoned. Rightly so, it seemed, when, on finding out about her first serious boyfriend, her parents cut her off.

Why? He was not Jewish. She met him at the backstage bar of the Hammersmith Odeon when he was taking photos for a music magazine; she was friends with a groupie. They snorted cocaine together and had urgent sex in the dirty toilets. Despite this sordid beginning, the boyfriend, whom she calls Chris, was a good sort, and his family welcomed her with open arms. They moved into a flat that she found through a contact of her father’s. Her father gave her 24 hours to leave his house, erecting “an icy, impenetrable wall around himself”. Cut off from her family she felt uprooted, adrift and homesick. She felt she had exiled herself. “It was my worst nightmare,” she recalls. “My sister had gone. I saw that from a child’s perspective. And now me. I felt lots of anger. It was very hard. I was more lost than ever. Now, today, I understand it.” Has she forgiven him? “I didn’t forgive him. I didn’t have to forgive him. I understood him. I came to terms with it. The community was important to him, and he’d had enough. I’d put him through the wringer. Of course, when I found out he’d bought the flat, I realised he was just playing tough love.”

Reva was ecstatic when she realised her father still cared. Her boyfriend was horrified. They split up, and Reva moved to Israel, with her parents’ blessing. She trained as a birth assistant. Then, in her mid-twenties, she enrolled in a yeshiva, a religious school, where she effectively trained to become a wife. It was there that, one night, religious studies between girls turned into something else: she found herself making love to a fellow student. “I took the dominant role, relishing the opportunity to experience and enjoy a woman the way a man does, and slipped my finger inside her until her pleasure could be heard on the other side of the dormitory wall.”

“I’m not into women,” she tells me today, slightly sheepishly, likening the atmosphere at the yeshiva to a boys’ public school. “There was lots of repressed, unleashed sexual energy.” She loved the place, although her old, wild life still threatened to pull her back. “I had a feeling of coming home. A feeling of safety, that I’d been searching for. A community, love, belonging.” It’s easy to see how someone from an emotionally chaotic background would find security in an institution with strict rules, a blueprint for how to live. The yeshiva had its own matchmaker, a formidable woman from eastern Europe who sent Reva on cringeworthy dates. “Darlink, you need someone who can understand your past…” One suitor was put off by the way she tucked into her salad – “He feared your appetite might spill over into other areas.” Another told her he tied his ankles to his bed at night to avoid rolling over onto his front in his sleep, lest he be tempted to masturbate. Weirdos, she thought. Still she yearned to be a good Jewish wife.

And then she was introduced to Simcha, a kind, humble, religious man. He gave her a prayer book instead of an engagement ring. She ignored this warning sign that he was “horny only for heaven”. “Here is the combination I have been longing for, the union of body and soul that will finally satiate me,” she thought. Wrong. They married after knowing each other for a matter of weeks, and having never touched, literally. She wore long sleeves and a thick veil. Simcha was too religious for her parents’ liking. “After all the sacrifices we’ve made, the elocution lessons, the nose job – is this our reward, having you wear that dowdy dress and mumbling prayers?” her mother asked. On the wedding day, her father looked around at the guests despairingly: “Why has she rejected my Judaism and gone for this cultist idolising of half-wits?” The wedding is one of the funniest scenes in the book. But the marriage was a disaster. She was utterly lonely and incredibly frustrated. Simcha belonged to the strictest Hassidic sect of Judaism and hid his fear of intimacy behind the ultra-orthodox rules. She likens his touch to “the soft petting of a kindly uncle”. But they had three children together (now teenagers).

As she went into labour with the first, another terrible, hilarious scene ensued (the film rights can’t be far off). Between contractions, she found herself trying to calm down both her parents. Her mother was panicking, thinking back to her own traumatic labour with Reva’s sister, and needed her Rescue Remedy. Her father responded by thinking he was having a heart attack and reaching for his little blue pills. Her husband wittered on about the sufferings of the Jewish people: “The amniotic fluid is like the water of the Red Sea parting. Your contractions are the birth pangs of a nation being born.”

When she gave birth to her third child, Simcha wasn’t even present. That was when she realised she could do without him. Their divorce was precipitated by Reva having an affair with the builder, who came to fit a new kitchen and later whisked her off on his motorbike. Her husband reacted calmly, and carried on being a good father. They’re on excellent terms today. As she says, “Our divorce was better than our marriage”.

And then came Sam, whose level of pain matched hers. They met in a bar, struck up a flirtatious conversation. A few tequilas and a joint later they were in bed. “Every time I hold you I feel how starved you are for love,” he said. It was Sam who suggested she visit her sister, who she hadn’t seen for over 20 years. Unfortunately he was also heavily into drugs and pornography, and constantly lusted after other women. “Sam gave me everything I needed – and everything I didn’t,” says Reva. “It’s five years that I haven’t seen him and I’m just starting to get over it. It took me a long time because it was so intense. It was the deepest connection I’ve ever had with a man. He understood what I was, and how much I needed everything I didn’t get when I was a kid.”

With her parents’ death, Reva came into her own. Her father died first, with Reva by his side. It was beautiful, she says. “The most wonderful experience. I was privileged to be with him. I saw that when someone dies, it’s just that they’re not around. They don’t really die. I saw my father’s soul leave, I saw the body just become a vessel. It just carries you. This is what life is: we live, and we die. You see your own vulnerability. You realise every breath you have is a gift.”

Her mother’s death was altogether different. She committed suicide. After her father died, Reva had persuaded her mother to come over to live with her in Israel. She even got her to see a therapist, which Reva’s father had never done. She thought she could finally achieve what he had not. She sees this now as an attitude of pride before a terribly hard fall. I think she was just doing her best, like any daughter would. The therapy session went well. Too well. Faced with too much truth too soon, her mother committed suicide the following day, by swallowing sleeping pills and tying a plastic bag around her head.

In retrospect, she realises her father had somehow kept her mother alive. “He had a way to make her feel okay. Which I stupidly did not understand. I thought I could put her in therapy at the age of 80 and everything would be fine.” Does she regret that? “Well, she killed herself the next day. Because she was very bright, and she got it. I have been told since that people who go through that kind of epiphany, who are suicidal, often kill themselves, and that it was actually irresponsible of the psychiatrist – he should have gone more slowly. But she did not want to live. She could not cope. She was an anxiety mess.

“It was the most painful thing, out of all the things I have been through.” Did she feel responsible? She nods. “It was so terrible. I’d thought: finally, I’ve got my mum here! I’ve always wanted a mum. I know that if I was with her for more than five minutes I’d be tearing out my hair, but I miss her so much.”

Her mother had talked about killing herself for years. Was there any sense of relief – after living under the cloud of the possibility for so long? “You’d think so, but no. A mother is a mother, even if they don’t function properly and you’re mothering them. You have a basic need. There are certain things you can’t replace. Who else is interested in every detail of my children? And when you lose both your parents, you become an orphan.”

Reva changed their names out of respect. “I’m not hiding my identity. I just wanted to be a bit removed. It’s like a buffer zone.” I suspect this buffer zone will prove to be tissue-thin. She says she wouldn’t want her teenage children to read the book, because they’re too young to read about their mother as a sexual being. Reva hopes, possibly naively, that people will consider the message of the book as a whole, rather than focus on particular scenes. “I’ve used those to show what it’s really about – this ricocheting from one extreme to another, and to keep that feel of what that is so that when I come out of it you can see the power of what was holding me.”

She never questions the existence of God. She has experienced moments of religious ecstasy, but says chasing after this is more escapism. What she craves now is not ecstatic highs – “I couldn’t cope with the down any more” – but “the real thing. A continued sense of wellbeing. I never understood that all of what I was doing was just medicating terrible pain. Finally, I allowed myself a rendezvous with that pain. And I realised: I wasn’t bad, I’d done all these things for a reason. Now I’m only going for nourishment. I’ve found myself. I have myself. I don’t need some guy to make me feel worthy of being. It’s been hard. It’s a lonely journey.”

How painful was it to write? “I had to relive it, that was part of the stress. I didn’t want to go back, I wanted to go forward. But you do write so much better when you are in that state. When the tears are streaming down your face, you can really express it. You have to go into a trance, almost, where nothing else exists, just that chapter.”

Does she feel sorry for her earlier self? I can understand why her boyfriend Chris thought her parents were bigots. Her father wouldn’t even look at him. Tears well up in her eyes, but she insists: “My parents were amazing people. We have this saying: if everybody were to put their problems on the table, everybody would pick their own up. You’d rather have your own.” Does it feel exposing, to have her highs and lows in print, on the page, out there? “It was scary at first, but I’m happy with it,” she says. “I feel so much better in myself that I can tell the story because that’s not where I am. I don’t relate to that any more. It’s in me, it’s my past, but I don’t feel it’s exposing of me today. Nothing destructive is pulling me back now. I have self-respect. I’m okay with myself, for the first time in my life.”

Writing the book was part of her healing. “I was waiting to get back to life – but I didn’t have much of a life to get back to. Writing everything down was about my beginning to be a new person. I wasn’t just getting it off my chest.” She laughs at the painfully apt metaphor. She hopes the book might help people who are going through cancer, or divorce, or who are trapped in a destructive pattern of behaviour. Hiding, not brave enough to cope with whatever’s pushing them towards it. “I feel that with this book I’ve done something good. I’ve done what the Torah is really about, which is loving your neighbour, in the way that my father and my grandfather did, reaching out to people. If I could do that, I would feel I was a good Jew.” She sighs wistfully. “Then I would feel I was really the rabbi’s daughter.”

Despite her protestations that she’s a changed woman, you sense the old Reva isn’t quite dead. That’s why she keeps everything so carefully in check; she’s balanced, but precariously. “We can both have a glass of wine and you’ll be tipsy and go home and have a nice evening. For me, that glass might lead to two or three… I know that taste and it’s the taste of oblivion.”

The Rabbi’s Daughter: A True Story of Sex, Drugs and Orthodoxy, by Reva Mann, is published by Hodder & Stoughton on Aug 16, 2007.

Taken from the TimesOnline.

Free Chosid Screen saver

Lipa Dose it again... YEAH!!!

How to find a clean Toilet when on the road

New technology is so cool that when you're on the road you can now find a clean toilet through your cell phone.

MizPee.com finds the closest, cleanest toilet and gives you entertaining reading material once you get there. Since the service is cell phone-based, it's always with you, when you really need it.

After you have finished your own, uh, personal business, you may want to check out what deals there are at businesses in the area. MizPee has plenty of promotions from a variety of businesses.

July 4th Fireworks

I just got back from seeing the July 4th fireworks at the Rockland Community College (RCC) it was beautiful to watch it not to mention the concert was great, but I have to say if you have been there before you will know that if you don't get there early enough don't plan on getting a parking anywhere close forget about finding a good spot to sit down (on the grass) and watch.

They were playing from about 8:00 till 9:30 then at 9:30 they stated with the fireworks for a half hour straight, it was awesome. But now can you imagine all those hundreds of people trying to get away from this place with only a 2 lane road (one in each direction) and cars parked on both sides of the road (this makes it a 4 lane road automaticly) gosh that's a nighmare, forget about when someone hits another car in the traffic (which happens almost every year) they won't budge until cops come to fill the report (that's makes this a 1 lane road) cars beeping, hunking and people screaming from anger (NY drivers) move... move... move... you get the picture.

Now for those who haven't seen the fireworks this year yet, here is a clip of fireworks from last year at the Baltimore Inner Harbor.

L'Chaim to the New iPhone!

http://www.aish.com/movies/jPhone.asp

Today's Quotes

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.." Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !" Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns

Why is SH so important in Yiddish

· SHMOK

· SHLEPER

· SHNORER

· SHLIMAZL

· SHVANTZ

· SHVITZER

· SHMONDRIK

· SHPAIEN OIFN KEIVER

· SHTIPN ARAIN

· SHTEIN UN HOISN

· SHTARK VI A FERD

· SHTARK VI AIZN

· SHIKLDIKE OIGN

· SHPILKES IN TUCHES

· SHEINER TUCHES

· SHMUTZIKE CHAIE

· SHVARTZE IORN

· SHVARTZE CHAIE

· SHTIK FLEISH

· SHTIK DREK

· SHEINE REINE KAPURE

· SHEIGUETZ

· SHKUTZEM

· SHTARBT AVEK

· SHYGETZ

· FOILE SHTIK

· ER PISHT OIF SHTEINER

· DI LEVONE SHAINT

· DI SHTERN BLITZN

· DER POTZ SHTEIT UN DI EIER SHVITZN

And the most impotant , stays in a happy place: Te Shikse...

Benjamin Moore Paint Sample

Best Divorce letter ever

Bic Razor

Bluewhale-Read..

Bubble Gum

Can a pig have a piggy bank

Delete Wipe and Trash

Dropped calls, Cingular

FedEx shirt

How to motivate a racer..

Kinko - White Out

KKarate School Ad

Mr. Clean on a Street in New York

Nike

Outdoor Bridge for Adidas Soccer

Lego Crane

Last but not least... Stop Smoking

Does size "really" matter?

If you buy or sell on eBay, you should read this

If you're buying or selling items over the internet, something most of us are doing these days, there are ways to make sure you have a safety net in place.

I wanted to share the following link that will take you to a very short video of a news story that WFAA Channel 8 News aired on last night, June 4th, regarding safety tips when buying online.

http://www.wfaa.com/video/index.html?nvid=149221&shu=1

Microsoft Surface - The Power

How to explain SEX in Yiddish

Have you ever wondered how can you explain sex in Yiddish? well, Wikipedia has an ארטיקל in Yiddish.. it is very interesting to read those words in Yiddish.. Don't forget to read the ליסטע פון אלע סעקס פאזיציעס

סעקס

סעקס (אדער געשלעכט) איז אן אקט צו אויסדרוקן געפילן פון ליבשאפט צווישן צוויי מענטשן וואס אין אלגעמיין איז דאס צווישן מאן און פרוי. איר ציל איז צו פארמערן די וועלט מיט באשעפענישן.

צו האבען סעקס הײסט שטופּען

באדייט

דער אקט פון טרענען בריינגט פאר דעם מענטש א געוואלדיגע הנאה, און דערפאר נוצט מען איר אויך כדי צו אויסדריקן טיפע ליבשאפט צום באליבטן מיטן אנטפלעקן און רירן זייער באאלטענע גלידער. אין דער אלגעמיינעם סאציאלער אפמאך, מאכט מען סעקס נאר מיט א איינציגע פרוי צו לעבן און אויפשטעלן א שטוב צוזאם, אדעווען צוזאמען די קינדער.

סעקס פאר זיך איז א באהאלטענע טעמע וואס פרומע אידן רעדן נישט אפען קיין ווארט דערוועגן צוליב צניעות.

כראניק

צוויי פאקטארן שפילן א ראָלע אין סעקס; 1) ליבע 2) גלוסט.

פון די ראָלעס און אקטען ביי סעקס זענען קושען, ארום נעמען,

די מאדערנע וועלט טיילט איין סעקס אין 3 טיילן.

1. תאוה
2. ארגעזם
3. צוריקציען

1) די ערשטע טייל איז תאוה. תאוה ברענגט דעם שמאק צו א פולשטענדיקער שטייפקייט דאס פאסירט דורך די דינטשיגע אדערלעך וועלכע נעמען אריין בלוט אינעם פעניס, וואס ברענגט אז דער פעניס ווערט שטייף און אויסגעצויגן. אקטיווער שלייפן פונעם פעניס דורך מארסירן, צו מיט דער בלויזנער הענט אדער דורך נאגן דעם פעניס מיטן מויל מויל סעקס, אדער דורך נאטירליכע תשמיש, ברענגט דעם פעניס ארויסצולאזן א פייכטע גלענד וואס פאסירט אין די לעצטע רגעים איידער דעם קלימאקס

2) דער קלימאקס פאסירט ספאנטאן. וואס ברענגט דעם מענטש צו ארגעזעם, וואס זיינע מוסקלען אינעם פעניס שפייען אויס מיט קראפט מענליכער פליסיגקייט, אין וועלכן עס איז קאנצענטרירט עטליכע מיליאן ספרעמעס, וואס ווען דאס דערגרייכט אינעם אינערליכן טייל פון די קליטארע פון די פרוי ווערט צו מזל געבוירן א קינד ביז 9 מאנאט.

3) נאך בערך 15 סעקונעס נאך ארגעזם, קומט דער צוריקציען פעריאדע. וואס לאזט אוי דאס שטייפקייט אינעם פעניס. די בלוט לויפט צוריק ארויס, און די כוחות פונעם מענטש פארלאזן אים; די אויגן לעשן זיך אויס, און זיין ליבע וועפט אויס.

עס נעמט בערך 15 ביז 20 מינוט אז דער רייץ נאך סעקס זאל צוריקקומען צו איר פריערדיגער שטאנד, און שטייפקייט. עס זענען פארן געװיסענע לייט וועלן קענען דאס באווייזן מערערע מאל אן איבעררייס.

אויב מען אנאזינט האפט, (צ.ב.ש. עטליכע מאל א טאג) ווערט די זרע ווייניגער ביי די נעקסטע מאלן, ווייל דער קערפער יאגט נישט אָן באשאפן נייע זרע. אבער פיל אנאזינען איז נישט קיין סכנה פארן קערפער. אויך די רייץ ווערט שוואכער נאכן אנאזינען אדער ווען איינער אנאזינט האפט-מאל, און ווייניגער בלוט קומען צום פעניס, וואס דערפאר וועט די פעניס זיין ווייניגער שטייף.

לויט די פארשער איז געזונט צו ארויסנעמען זרע יעדן טאג וואס פארמיינד פראזאטע קרעבס [1].

סעקס אין די תורה

פון די תורה איז פארהאן פילע פארשידענע הלכות אישות וו.צ.ב. א פארבאט צו האבן געי סעקס צווישן צוויי מענער פערזאנען, א פארבאט צו האבן סעקס בשעת א פרוי איז א נדה, פארשידענע דינים און פירונגען. און אויך שפעטערע הלכות וואס שטאמן פון תקנת עזרא

קבלה רופט איר אן "מדת היסוד", - אלס די גרונט פון די תורה, נאך יוסף הצדיק, וואס איז בייגעשאטאנען נישט צו האבן סעקס מיט אשת פוטיפר.

ביי די פרומע קרייזן מעג א מאן טרענען נאר מיט זיין אייגנס פרוי. אבער לעצטנס האבן עטליכע רבנים פון די מזרחישע קרייזן ערלויבט זאלן בחורים מיט מיידלאך זיין צוזאמען סעקסואליש אויך איידער זייער חתונה אויב זייער פארבינדוג איז פעסט געשטעלט. די מזרחישע רבנים בריינגען א ראיה פון תנ"ך אז די יידישע קיסרים האבן געהאט פילגשים.

זעט אויך

• זנות
• ליבע
• אויסרייבן
• מויל סעקס
• עינעל סעקס
• אלע סעקס פאזיציעס
• משמרת הצניעות
• צניעות

The true meaning of the ABC's

You are:

A: Attractive
B: Beautiful
C: Caring
D: Delicious
E: Exciting
F: Fun
G: Gorgeous
H: Heavenly
I: I'm
J: Just
K: Kidding

$17,000 for a Pacifier?

Yes, you read it right! itsmybinky.com has released a Solid White Gold with 278 Diamonds baby Pacifier and the price for that is $17,000.00

A True Hero - Yisroel Chaim

You have to see this!!! A friend sent me this unbelievable clip a while ago of Yisroel Chaim, a courageous 12-year old boy fighting for his life, who's a lesson in emuna for all of us. Between chemo sessions, he recorded his moving song, "There is a God".

Many of you may have already seen this but I can see this over and over again and it could still bring me tears to my eyes.

Again, This clip is somewhat of an old one, and Boruch Hashem Yisrael Chaim has made a complete recovery.

Explanation of the Street Signs

Click on the image to view it in it's original size!

Good Health Tips

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And Remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - a large Jack in one hand - a large cigar in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

What is Hebonics?

The New York City Public Schools have officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed Hebronics, as a second language. Backers of the move say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebronics as a valid language and a significant attribute of American culture. According to Howard Ashland, linguistics professor at Brooklyn College and renowned Hebronics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish.

Professor Shulman explains, "In Hebronics, the response to any question is usually another question with a complaint that is either implied or stated. Thus 'How are you?' may be answered, 'How should I be, with my bad feet?' Shulman says that Hebronics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with "sh" or "shm" at the beginning: "Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You should want a nosebleed?"

Another Hebronics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: "It's beautiful, that dress."

Shulman says one also sees the Hebronics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as "He's slow as a turtle," could be: "Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks."

Shulman provided the following examples from his best-selling textbook,
Switched-On Hebronics:

Question: "What time is it?"
English answer: "Sorry, I don't know."
Hebronic response: "What am I, a clock?"

Remark: "I hope things turn out okay."
English answer: "Thanks."
Hebronic response: "I should be so lucky!"

Remark: "Hurry up. Dinner's ready."
English answer: "Be right there."
Hebronic response: "Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the 'hurry business? Is there a fire?"

Remark: "I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time."
English answer: "Glad you like it."
Hebronic response: "So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties I gave you?"

Remark: "Sarah and I are engaged."
English answer: "Congratulations!"
Hebronic response: "She could stand to lose a few pounds."

Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?"
English answer: "Just say when."
Hebronic response: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?"

To the guest of honor at a birthday party:
English answer: "Happy birthday."
Hebronic response: "A year smarter you should become."

Remark: "A beautiful day."
English answer: "Sure is."
Hebronic response: "So the sun is out; what else is new?"

Answering a phone call from a son:
English answer: "It's been a while since you called."
Hebronic response: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead already?"

What to do in an emergency situation...

Because of recent abductions

in daylight hours,refresh yourself

of these things to do

in an emergency situation...

This is for you,

and for you to share

with your wife,

your children,

everyone you know.

After reading these 9 crucial tips ,

forward them to someone you care about.

It never hurts to be careful

in this crazy world we live in.




1 Tip from Tae Kwon Do :

The elbow

is the strongest point on your body.

If you are close enough to use it, do!




2. Learned this from a tourist guide

in New Orleans .

If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,

DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM .

Toss it away from you....

chances are that he is more interested

in your wallet and/or purse than you,

and he will go for the wallet/purse.

RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!




3. If you are ever thrown

into the trunk of a car,

kick out the back tail lights

and stick your arm out the hole

and start waving like crazy.

The driver won't see you,

but everybody else will.

This has saved lives.




4. Women have a tendency

to get into their cars after shopping,

eating, working, etc.,

and just sit (doing their cheque-book,

or making a list, etc.

DON'T DO THIS!

The predator will be watching you,

and this is the perfect opportunity

for him to get in on the passenger side,

put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.

AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,

LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun

to your head

DO NOT DRIVE OFF,

repeat:

DO NOT DRIVE OFF!

Instead gun the engine

and speed into anything,

wrecking the car.

Your Air Bag will save you.

If the person is

in the back seat

they will get the worst of it .

As soon as the car crashes

bail out and run.

It is better than having them

find your body in a remote location.

5 A few notes about getting

into your car in a parking lot,

or parking garage:

A.) Be aware:

look around you, look into your car,

at the passenger side floor ,

and in the back seat

B.) If you are parked next to a big van,

enter your car from the passenger door .

Most serial killers attack their victims

by pulling them into their vans

while the women are attempting

to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car

parked on the driver's side

of your vehicle, and the passenger side.

If a male is sitting alone

in the seat nearest your car,

you may want to walk back

into the mall, or work,

and get a guard/policeman

to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

(And better paranoid than dead..)


6. ALWAYS

take the elevator

instead of the stairs.

(Stairwells are horrible places

to be alone

and the perfect crime spot.

This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun

and you are not under his control,

ALWAYS RUN!

The predator will only hit you

(a running target)

4 in 100 times;

And even then, it most likely

WILL NOT be a vital organ.

RUN, Preferably !

in a zig-zag pattern!


8. As women,

we are always trying

to be sympathetic:

STOP

It may get you raped, or killed.

Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,

well educated man,

who ALWAYS played

on the sympathies

of unsuspecting women.

He walked with a cane,

or a limp, and often asked

"for help"

into his vehicle or with his vehicle,

which is when he abducted
his next victim.

************* Here it is *******

9. Another Safety Point:

Someone just told me

that her friend heard

a crying baby on her porch

the night before last,

and she called the police

because it was late

and she thought it was weird.

The police told her

"Whatever you do, DO NOT

open the door."

The lady then said that

it sounded like the baby

had crawled near a window,

and she was worried

that it would crawl

to the street and get run over.

The policeman said,

"We already have a unit on the way,

whatever you do,

DO NOT open the door."

He told her that they think

a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded

and uses it to coax women out of their homes

thinking that someone dropped off a baby

He said they have not verified it,

but have had several calls

by women saying that they hear baby's cries

outside their doors when they're home alone

at night.

Please pass this on and

DO NOT

open the door for a crying baby ----

This

e-mail should probably

be taken seriously because

the Crying Baby theory

was mentioned on

America's Most Wanted

this past Saturday

when they profiled

the serial killer in Louisiana .

Forward this to all the women and men you know.

It may save a life.

A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.